Shellback Initiation
This is another essay I wrote for my English 101 class, a few years after I got out of the Navy. I was using my GI Bill education money. This event happened on a previous cruise, when I was deployed on the USS Niagara Falls. Oh,and if you're wondering, I got an A on this essay, and I also submitted it to a military themed daily email service, where it was published. Ok, enough preamble, on with the show!
Shellback Initiation
USS Niagara Falls, January 1, 1990
Zero Degrees Latitude Somewhere in the Indian Ocean
Officially known as The Shellback Initiation, this event goes back to the day of wooden ships and iron men. The shellback initiation is a way to prove a person's worthiness to be admitted to King Neptune's court. A Shellback is a creature that has proven his worth, and any other who has not been initiated is considered a slimy pollywog, basically the most worthless form of scum. The initiation is only performed when a ship crosses the Equator, and in our case we crossed in the Indian Ocean, on January 1, 1990.
"Get Out of your rack! Get Dressed!" Crash! Trashcans slam into the bulkheads like the drums of hell. Is it too late to panic? "You worthless, slimy wog....On Your knees! Face Down! Why don't you know how to even get dressed right?" The "uniform for the day" consists of wearing everything backwards and inside out. For example, pants are inside out and backwards, then underwear on the outside. "Get on your knees! You are lower than whale dung, the most miserable form of sea life..." Nothing a slimy wog ever does is fast enough, or even right for that matter. Mistakes were punished with the shalaylee, made from an old fire hose, about two feet in length. Even though it is not "supposed" to be swung with much force, after a few hours of getting one's butt beat with a piece of fire hose does have an effect. Just the sound of that shalaylee whistling through the air would cause great concern!
"Breakfast" was runny scrambled eggs with shells left in, green coloring, and lots of Tabasco sauce. We were "encouraged" to just dig right in, like a bunch of pigs in the slop. It was almost a relief when the fire hose came along for our ritualistic cleansing, if it hadn't been so cold..."Lunch" was oddly colored and rotten smelling macaroni salad. By this time I was pretty hungry, so I just planted my face into the macaroni and took a big mouthful. I didn't think they would feed us bad food, although the eggs should have been a clue! YUCK!
Finally the actual ceremony began on the Flight Deck from Hell, as anything that happened before sunrise doesn't count. Wogs from all over the ship were herded in droves toward the starboard flight deck ladder, barking and yelping as we crawled. As we turned to climb the ladder, the salt-water fire hose was turned on in a cleansing high velocity fog. First we were mustered with the Royal Scribe, who made note of our worthless existence on a long scroll. Next the Royal Doctor inspected us for barnacles or other maladies of the deep, and gave us a potion of the most gawd awful tasting goo, which we had to swallow completely. And finally we were presented before King Neptune, to see if we were worthy to enter his royal kingdom. The path to becoming a Trusty Shellback is filled with many hardships, such as slithering through a long canvas chute filled with a weeks worth of garbage, or being placed in the stocks. The last step is the Baptism in the Green Sea, where the slimy wogs are dunked into a large tank filled with salt water and green sea dye marker. I was then told to stay underwater until the tank is hit three times, at which point I would rise from the sea, and answer a question. Sometimes a wog would be left underwater for a while to have more time to think of his worthiness. If he came up for air too soon, he would have to start over. Of course the question was always the same, and known to all Trusty Shellbacks. Upon answering correctly, I had become a Trusty Shellback, and allowed for the first time all day to stand up and walk with out being beaten.
Finally it was over. We threw what was left of our uniforms overboard, and were once again rinsed off with those salt-water fire hoses. Then, like a long line of naked refuges, we slowly toddled into our berthing areas, and took a hot shower. Was it worth it? Sure! On the next cruise, we got to initiate the new wogs, and helped keep one of the Navy's long living traditions alive.
Shellback Initiation
USS Niagara Falls, January 1, 1990
Zero Degrees Latitude Somewhere in the Indian Ocean
Officially known as The Shellback Initiation, this event goes back to the day of wooden ships and iron men. The shellback initiation is a way to prove a person's worthiness to be admitted to King Neptune's court. A Shellback is a creature that has proven his worth, and any other who has not been initiated is considered a slimy pollywog, basically the most worthless form of scum. The initiation is only performed when a ship crosses the Equator, and in our case we crossed in the Indian Ocean, on January 1, 1990.
"Get Out of your rack! Get Dressed!" Crash! Trashcans slam into the bulkheads like the drums of hell. Is it too late to panic? "You worthless, slimy wog....On Your knees! Face Down! Why don't you know how to even get dressed right?" The "uniform for the day" consists of wearing everything backwards and inside out. For example, pants are inside out and backwards, then underwear on the outside. "Get on your knees! You are lower than whale dung, the most miserable form of sea life..." Nothing a slimy wog ever does is fast enough, or even right for that matter. Mistakes were punished with the shalaylee, made from an old fire hose, about two feet in length. Even though it is not "supposed" to be swung with much force, after a few hours of getting one's butt beat with a piece of fire hose does have an effect. Just the sound of that shalaylee whistling through the air would cause great concern!
"Breakfast" was runny scrambled eggs with shells left in, green coloring, and lots of Tabasco sauce. We were "encouraged" to just dig right in, like a bunch of pigs in the slop. It was almost a relief when the fire hose came along for our ritualistic cleansing, if it hadn't been so cold..."Lunch" was oddly colored and rotten smelling macaroni salad. By this time I was pretty hungry, so I just planted my face into the macaroni and took a big mouthful. I didn't think they would feed us bad food, although the eggs should have been a clue! YUCK!
Finally the actual ceremony began on the Flight Deck from Hell, as anything that happened before sunrise doesn't count. Wogs from all over the ship were herded in droves toward the starboard flight deck ladder, barking and yelping as we crawled. As we turned to climb the ladder, the salt-water fire hose was turned on in a cleansing high velocity fog. First we were mustered with the Royal Scribe, who made note of our worthless existence on a long scroll. Next the Royal Doctor inspected us for barnacles or other maladies of the deep, and gave us a potion of the most gawd awful tasting goo, which we had to swallow completely. And finally we were presented before King Neptune, to see if we were worthy to enter his royal kingdom. The path to becoming a Trusty Shellback is filled with many hardships, such as slithering through a long canvas chute filled with a weeks worth of garbage, or being placed in the stocks. The last step is the Baptism in the Green Sea, where the slimy wogs are dunked into a large tank filled with salt water and green sea dye marker. I was then told to stay underwater until the tank is hit three times, at which point I would rise from the sea, and answer a question. Sometimes a wog would be left underwater for a while to have more time to think of his worthiness. If he came up for air too soon, he would have to start over. Of course the question was always the same, and known to all Trusty Shellbacks. Upon answering correctly, I had become a Trusty Shellback, and allowed for the first time all day to stand up and walk with out being beaten.
Finally it was over. We threw what was left of our uniforms overboard, and were once again rinsed off with those salt-water fire hoses. Then, like a long line of naked refuges, we slowly toddled into our berthing areas, and took a hot shower. Was it worth it? Sure! On the next cruise, we got to initiate the new wogs, and helped keep one of the Navy's long living traditions alive.
posted by Carlin at
12:59 PM
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